Out of context phrases

So today at church while my dad was delivering the sermon the gf, because she was hyper decided to write down words in a circular form around a piece of paper. I think it helped her to focus. Well I was watching her write words and realized how great some of the phrases from the sermon were. Especially when taken out of context. Well by the time I thought to listen and write down the phrases I thought were great, I either stopped noticing the really great phrases (like maybe I was trying to hard at that point), or by the time I started writing down phrases all of the great ones had passed. Anyways, here are the phrases I did write down.

Now the chasm cannot be crossed

He wanted me to roll down my window and I left

Kingdom of God

The dogs licked his wounds

Invitation to participation

Lazarus and Dives

The old Egyptian story

A subversive thing

Body given for you

Body and bread

Blood and wine

The cock crowed

Disciples ran away

The disappeared

Steaming straw baskets

Touched by poor peasant people

Participating in the justice

All of the food stories

What do you get when you mix sinus drainage and Con-law?

There is nothing like sitting in class when you have terrible drainage. This morning in class I made sure to blow my nose before I walked in and sat down. I even grabbed a little tissue to aid me in my hour and fifteen minute endeavor into the world of Constitutional law. This meager piece of tissue, however, turned out to be the clichéd equivalent of clogging a leaky damn with a piece of gum. About five minutes into class I notice a viscous substance inching its way closer to the brim of my nostril. In this type of situation I always wonder if I just sit there, will it stay at the precipice of my nasal cavity, or, will it continue to drip and flow until I look like one of those kids in grade school that had an oozing line of snot running down to his lip. The truth, be it told, is that I always judged those kid as being less evolved than me for allowing there situation to decline to such a degree. Of course I never noticed it when I was offending others with my own nose-to-mouth snot-bridge. What a metaphor for life. I digress. Anyways, to get back to my day in class, with my impending drainage emergency; I decide that the solution can be found in my little square of toilet paper I took from the bathroom just before class. Don’t judge me for using the school bathroom’s toilet paper. Well I blot the opening of my nose and of course the gooey liquid starts to soak into the soft paper. Well, instead of solving the problem, this was more like coaxing a hungry animal to come out of hibernation at the beginning of spring. I sat there with multiple blot spots on my one square of tissue, and an ever more urgent flow of snot toward the opening of my nostril. The duration of class was spent trying to counter the snot flow with the ever more determined sniffle. That class was one of the longest classes I have ever sat through. It seemed even longer than the time I drank a 32 ounce diet coke at lunch and forgot to empty my bladder before class. That, however, is a story for another time.